April 12

Diffusing the Tension of Fighting Toddlers


From two to 22 (and sometimes even past that age), if they’re coexisting, your kids will find just about anything to fight about. Who gets to sit by Dad at dinner and who borrowed the other one’s toy are examples of things your toddlers will be willing to bite and scratch over.

As the parent, you have the responsibility to teach your kids that violence isn’t the answer to mindless tiffs, and that fighting over every little thing is not an acceptable way for them to get what they want.

Keep reading for some basic tips on how to get the fighting under control. Use these techniques just a few times and you’ll be able to squash a fight before it starts.


Your kids can’t fight if they’re in different rooms. If a fight breaks out (especially if it’s violent), do not hesitate to place your kids in different rooms. Not only will the separation method prevent further disagreements, but your children will probably even start to miss each other.


If you don’t want your kid to do the same thing twice, reinforce the notion that bad behavior seeks consequences. For toddler-aged children, a ten-minute time out feels eternal, so by the time the punishment is up, they will have mentally moved on from the dispute entirely.

Stay Calm

If you get worked up, the fighting can’t possibly simmer down. When disciplining your kids, do not yell or use physical force. Do what you have to do as a parent (i.e. time-out/separation), and moved on with your day. Plus, if you can control your temper, your child (over time) will model that behavior and apply it to situations where they are faced with contention.

Be Firm

If your kid gets out of time-out before time is up, send them straight back. If they get violent with their sibling, look them firmly in the eyes and tell them “no.” They may cry or scream in response to your discipline, but the less you give in to it, the easier it will be to get them to comply.

Keep Them Busy

Kids are wired to become argumentative when there is nothing keeping them busy. If you set them loose in the playroom without any objectives, fighting is sure to ensue. Provide them with activities like coloring, stories, movies, dancing, etc. Activities aren’t a guaranteed way to avoid fighting, however, they will certainly help.

Editor’s Note: Julia Miglets is a freelance content provider & writer for Daphyl’s LLC. Daphyl’s is a USA based multi-national world leader in safe, innovative, Licensed Rock N Roll, branded baby gear. The opinions, advice and assertions made in this article are for entertainment and information purposes only & are solely those of the author.


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